Drive You Out of Your Mind
by xwhenyourenotdown
Summary: A series of Jade-centric drabbles. Beck/Jade moments, but not entirely Beck/Jade-centric. Rated for language.
1. Squash Day

a/n: I tend to prefer writing moments as opposed to stories. I have no intention of these coalescing into a plot, but I can't promise anything there either way. This will also lack a set chronology - it's not non-linear, I'm just not sure how linear it is. Enjoy :)

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><p>Thursday is Squash Day at the West Household, Mom Division.<p>

Mom's always out because on Thursdays, they let her tend bar during Happy Hour. Yay! Thank you for always being a shining light of achievement, Mom.

Anyways, I celebrate being alone by purchasing a large squash. I spend a few hours hacking it up with our awful cheap knives, and then, we feast.

Or rather, I feast alone in my room while doing homework or video chatting with Beck or checking the Slap or not hanging out with my family, and leave the leftovers out for them to pick at as they see fit. I am excellent at squash-making (and cooking in general, really), so said leftovers are usually throughly gone by the next morning.

I find all of this very soothing.

Well, the hacking-the-squash-to-bits part more than the rest of it. But still.

Beck needs to get it through his head that being invited to squash day is a privilege! You can't just write-off SQUASH DAY. It's SQUASH. DAY.

At least he did consent to driving me to the grocery store. And being nice and cooperative as I selected the largest spaghetti squash I could find. And giving me a dollar and thirty-five cents when I could not afford the largest spaghetti squash I could find.

But when we got to Mom's apartment, however...

"Come upstairs, it's Squash Day."

"Squash Day?"

"I've only told you about Squash Day a million times. What we're you doing? Staring at Vega's boobs when I told you about Squash Day?"

"When have we ever discussed Squash Day in front of Tori?"

"Thinking about her boobs then. How can you forget what Squash Day is?"

"...Is that that thing where you cut up the squash?"

"Yes, Beck, Squash Day involves a squash. I'm glad you have some reasoning skills. And thanks for not refuting my point about Vega's boobs."

"...Leave Tori out of this, you think about me thinking about her boobs more than I think about her boobs because I don't think about her boobs. And I can't join your satanic squash rituals, I have homework."

"Oh, so now, I worship the devil?"

"You ritually murder a squash."

"And I'm inviting you to be a part of it!"

"And I really do have homework. I have to write this script thing."

I roll my eyes because really, "Whatever."

"I'll call you later?"

"Whatever."

And now, I'm feeling particularly vicious and if it were a normal Thursday, I could just go to town on my squash. But, I was feeling nice in the market because Beck was there and I thought we would be sharing this awesome ritual together, so I bought a spaghetti squash. And one must exercise caution when ritually murdering the spaghetti squash (which is what I'm entirely referring to this whole thing as now, thank you, Beck Oliver) because otherwise the spaghetti-like stands get all fucked up.

So, Squash Day is ruined.

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><p>Mom's still not home, which I imagine most people would assume to be a bad sign. I don't really care because it means no questions or attempts to "bond" with me, which really Mom, if you were so interested, there were a few years back around elementary school where I would have appreciated it. And I really could not deal with that because I did not get my squash.<p>

And it is sitting on the counter in all of it's still-alive glory, just mocking me. Which would normally just make me stab it harder, but I can't because it would ruin the squash. And I do have priorities.

Beck has tried to chat me several times. I have ignored him. In addition to having priorities, I also have principles.

I'm also bored and hungry. But priorities. And principles.

And a knock at the door. I press my ear up against it because if Mom forgot her keys, I'm only letting her in if she's alone. See above about principles.

I don't hear anything, which is usually a good sign, so I open it to find Beck, which is... an average sign. I'm still mad, but he's carrying a large knife, so this is probably going to be fun.

"I got you this."

"...Thanks."

"It's a knife."

"I have eyes."

"That you can just with your squash. Because you mentioned that your knives are crap, so..."

He is forgiven. Because all of my principles and priorities are satisfied when my boyfriend will give me a very large and dangerous object just to make me happy. What can I say, Jade West is secretly a romantic at heart.

Who loves ritually murdering squash.

I go to grab the knife, but he pulls back, "Magic word?"

"We're going to do kinky things with the knife after we ritually murder the squash?"

"No! Where do you come up with this?"

"You came up with the ritually murdering phrase and you enjoy the rest of it."

"I do," he holds the knife over my head, "But really..."

I roll my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Cool," he hands me the knife, "Let's ritually murder your squash."

"Our squash."

"Our squash."


	2. Vegan Burritos

Originally Chapter 1, revised to make it canon compliant.

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><p>Oh my god, vegan burritos. If it was legal, I would entirely marry vegan burritos. Fuck that, I don't care, because oh my god.<p>

Beck looks bemused, which is an expression he has unfortunately often, like the world is just a hilarious place, "I didn't know burritos could make you make those noises."

And maybe I have been enjoying it a bit... loudly, but no matter. "What's in these?"

"I dunno, vegetables?"

"You're horrible at the hippie thing."

"We're not _hippies, _Jade."

"Whatever, get me another burrito."

His family is so a bunch of hippies. He claims the vegetarian thing is a Hindu thing, but (a) his dad is as white as I am, so at least half of it is a hippie thing, and (b) Beck's only a vegetarian when it's convenient. Throw some buffalo nuggets near the guy and he's totally over it.

(I told him that his many-legged gods were going to smite him down for ignoring their dietary laws. He told me Hinduism doesn't work like that. I asked how it worked then and he just sort of shrugged. Way to keep in contact with your culture there, Beck. I'm sure they're all really happy and won't do whatever it is gods do when they aren't.)

So, I am forced to conclude that this is a hippie thing (maybe his mom gets a pass, I bet she knows what happens when Hindu gods get angry. I would ask her if she didn't hate me for mauling her husband with a dog). This is normally cause for concern when I move into the RV for weeks on end because it means I will not be getting any meat (Of the animal variety, that is, I get plenty of the euphemism kind, thank you.), and oh my god, do I love meat (of both varieties).

But these burritos. I'm fairly sure they're not vegetables because vegetables do not taste this awesome. I suspect it's mostly chemicals, which tells me that not only are the Oliver family hippies, but they aren't very good at being hippies. Knew it.

Beck claims the (occasional) vegetarianism is what makes his hair so, in his words, "awesome." Except my hair is just as, again, "awesome," and I eat the equivalent of a cow every week, and again, he's hardly serious about the whole thing, so I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with it.

He does have nice hair though. I will give him that.

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><p>an: As I'm in the process of applying to religion PhD programs (I'm also in the process of becoming scarily old), I feel the need to inform you all that I actually do have a pretty solid understanding of Hinduism, lest I be judged or something. Hope you're all having a lovely new year :)


	3. Rex

ScissorLuv: If we broke up, who would you date?

GotBeck: Is this a trick question?

ScissorLuv: No.

GotBeck: Ummmm

GotBeck: I love you so much that no one else would be worth dating after you?

ScissorLuv: Hah.

ScissorLuv: Nice try.

GotBeck: Do you have an answer to that question?

ScissorLuv: Oh, absolutely.

GotBeck: ...?

ScissorLuv: I would totally date Rex.

GotBeck: ...

GotBeck: ...

GotBeck: Really?

ScissorLuv: Yep.

ScissorLuv: Dead serious.

ScissorLuv: We would have adorable half-puppet babies.

ScissorLuv: Which would be a million times better than our hypothetical half Canadian babies.

GotBeck: I'm really not sure how offended I should be right now.

GotBeck: I thought you hated Robbie.

ScissorLuv: I do.

ScissorLuv: Which is why I'm dating Rex.

ScissorLuv: Not Robbie.

ScissorLuv: We might let Robbie watch though

ScissorLuv: Rex is a bit of a voyeur.

GotBeck: ...This is disturbing on like so many different levels.

GotBeck: How would you even know that?

ScissorLuv: I asked him.

GotBeck: Why I am not surprised at all?

ScissorLuv: Hey, would you be up for a threesome?

GotBeck: Annd I'm just going to assume that's you changing the subject.

GotBeck: Because the alternative is too disturbing to bear.

ScissorLuv: Dude.

ScissorLuv: You've been dating me how long?

ScissorLuv: If the idea of us having a threesome with Rex is too disturbing for you, I have clearly been off my game.

GotBeck: You know I never know if you're kidding.

ScissorLuv: That's because I'm not.

GotBeck: Does Rex even have... genitalia?

GotBeck: Why am I asking these questions?

ScissorLuv: Eh, he's a bit lacking, but we'll make do.

GotBeck: How do you know that?

GotBeck: ...Another question I probably shouldn't ask.

ScissorLuv: I've looked. Duh.

GotBeck: ...

GotBeck: Does Robbie know?

ScissorLuv: That I want his puppet, that I want to have a threesome with his puppet, or that I've looked down his puppet's pants?

GotBeck: ...All three?

ScissorLuv: Because Robbie was there when I asked Rex the first one

ScissorLuv: It's so hard to get Rex on his own

ScissorLuv: And the look on Robbie's face was just the best when Rex and I were talking, so, no regrets there.

GotBeck: Of course

ScissorLuv: Haven't talked to him about the second.

ScissorLuv: Wanted to make sure you were into it first.

GotBeck: You're so nice.

ScissorLuv: You know it.

ScissorLuv: I'm not sure if he knows about me looking in Rex's pants. He wasn't there. I finally got Rex for some alone time.

GotBeck: ...I can't even look at another girl without you flipping out and you can look down another guy's pants?

ScissorLuv: He's not a guy, duh.

ScissorLuv: And you can look at ugly girls.

ScissorLuv: Rex is a bittt of an ugly puppet...

ScissorLuv: Especially without pants.

GotBeck: Oh, well that's fine then.

ScissorLuv: Mmhmmm

ScissorLuv: So, can we do it?

GotBeck: We can ask Rex about it.

GotBeck: I sort-of want to see Robbie's face.

ScissorLuv: That's the spirit.

ScissorLuv: Rex thinks you're really handsome btw

ScissorLuv: He would totally go for it.

ScissorLuv: He said he likes your body.

GotBeck: ...I'm flattered

GotBeck: So what would Robbie be doing while we're having a threesome with Rex?

ScissorLuv: I have no idea.

ScissorLuv: I've always wondered what Robbie does while Rex is hitting those Northridge girls

ScissorLuv: Because obviously Robbie is not involved. But he is Rex's guardian so I imagine he likes to chaperone.

GotBeck: Robbie isn't chaperoning us.

ScissorLuv: Duh.

ScissorLuv: Hahaha, you're totally thinking about this like it's a legitimate idea.

GotBeck: I'm not agreeing to the actual doing it part, I am agreeing to let you ask Rex about it.

GotBeck: While I watch, and can make faces indicating how ridiculous I think you are.

ScissorLuv: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

ScissorLuv: You're just as ridiculous as I am and you know it.

ScissorLuv: Buy me coffee tomorrow and give me a ride tomorrow and I'll do it.

GotBeck: Done.

GotBeck: Pick you up at 8?

ScissorLuv: Mmmhmmm

GotBeck: You would totally do this even if I didn't agree.

ScissorLuv: Yeah.

ScissorLuv: Consider getting to watch Robbie's reaction my birthday present to you.

GotBeck: My birthday's not for ten months.

GotBeck: So, no, that doesn't count.

ScissorLuv: Yeah yeah, sure. Just pick me up. Bring the coffee.

GotBeck: Love you.

ScissorLuv: Love you too.

ScissorLuv: Not as much as I would love Rex though.


	4. Rex pt 2

a/n: This popped into my head on my train ride home. My phone was dead, so I was hurriedly scrawling it down, hunched over the paper, terrified someone was going to look over my shoulder. So, some warnings: My sense of humor continues to be entirely ridiculous and Robbie is gay in my headcanon (I'm actually working on a story about that!).

This takes place in some indeterminate space after high school.

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><p>ScissorLuv: So, you know how you said you'd tie me up if Shapiro came out before college graduation?<p>

GotBeck: And if he doesn't, you have to be nice to Tori for a week, go on.

ScissorLuv: You can get any sexual favor from me and that is what you pick.

ScissorLuv: Telling.

Gotbeck: I don't have to win bets to get sexual favors from you.

ScissorLuv: Lies.

ScissorLuv: I'm sure I have some threshold

ScissorLuv: Even if we haven't found it yet.

ScissorLuv: And it is your job as my boyfriend to help me there.

ScissorLuv: A role you have been failing at.

GotBeck: It just makes me uncomfortable to tie you up

ScissorLuv: It's not like I'm asking you to spank me!

ScissorLuv: Although...

GotBeck: It's like in high school when we were doing that dominating roleplay thing

GotBeck: Remember, we were at Tori's and I told you to take a timeout or something?

GotBeck: It just felt like abusive or something.

ScissorLuv: This is so not the same thing

ScissorLuv: We'll be in private for one

ScissorLuv: I know Vega cornered you about that one.

GotBeck: Yeah, "Beck, how could you make your girlfriend sit on the steps! She's not 5! She's a person!"

ScissorLuv: Your response should have been, "Yeah, I know she's my girlfriend, we're both getting off on this."

GotBeck: ...

ScissorLuv: Anyway

ScissorLuv: Get over yourself and get your rope ready

GotBeck: We're using rope?

ScissorLuv: Are you purposely being evasive?

GotBeck: Yes.

ScissorLuv: Just go check Shaprio's Slap page.

GotBeck: In a relationship with Rex doesn't count.

GotBeck: I don't know what that is

GotBeck: Or why I'm not surprised at all.

GotBeck: But it doesn't count.

ScissorLuv: Technically

ScissorLuv: Rex is a boy puppet

GotBeck: I thought you said he didn't have anything down there.

ScissorLuv: Gender is not genitalia, Beck!

ScissorLuv: But, yeah, being in a relationship with a puppet is technically agalmatophilia.

GotBeck: You know that how?

ScissorLuv: From when I was planning on dating him

ScissorLuv: (still might btw)

ScissorLuv: I had to make sure I knew the right words.

ScissorLuv: Like how what we'll be doing tonight is called bondage.

GotBeck: But we won't

GotBeck: You haven't won.

GotBeck: Agalmatophilia isn't homosexuality.

ScissorLuv: But just click on the link to this Rex's profile

GotBeck: ...

GotBeck: ...No fucking way.

GotBeck: What's the puppet's last name?

ScissorLuv: Powers

ScissorLuv: Go check tagged photos if you don't believe me

ScissorLuv: Jade Powers has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

GotBeck: Holy fucking shit.

ScissorLuv: Language.

GotBeck: Babe.

GotBeck: Robbie Sharpio is in a relationship with some guy named Rex.

GotBeck: Like... a person.

ScissorLuv: Yep

ScissorLuv: Hey, do you think that now that Robbie has human Rex, he'll let me have puppet Rex?

ScissorLuv: I bet he'd tie me up without complaint

GotBeck: Your sex obsession aside

GotBeck: Have you looked at this guy's profile?

ScissorLuv: No, I just saw it and imed you.

ScissorLuv: So excited about the awesome sex we're going to have.

ScissorLuv: Does it get weirder?

GotBeck: Surprisingly

GotBeck: Look - human Rex meets puppet Rex.

GotBeck: So many photos of the three of them

ScissorLuv: I haven't laughed this much since we watched Titanic.

GotBeck: How do you think this happened?

ScissorLuv: Robbie probably was like, "hey! I have a puppet named after you!"

ScissorLuv: And human-Rex is obviously a freak so...

ScissorLuv: An absurd family was born.

ScissorLuv: It's like how you're dating me

ScissorLuv: So there must be some kinkiness somewhere within you.

GotBeck: Fine, I'll come over tonight.

ScissorLuv: Bring rope!


	5. Uptown, Downtown

A revised version of what was originally titled "Tori the Zombie." Still takes place in the context of "Tori the Zombie."

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><p>I am not in the mood to go shopping.<p>

I have no aversion to shopping. I usually acquire my wardrobe when my dad gets sick of the fact that I dress like a "gothic hooker" (a creative description) and gives me a credit card and instructions to buy something colorful (and take the jewelry out of your face while you're at it, why don't you just buy some nice earrings?). I get alone time or Beck time (He occasionally gets pissy when I take him with me, or just stands in the corner staring at his cell phone, but the mall has a Starbucks and I have my dad's credit card) and all I have to do is throw in one colored shirt.

But my mother has decided that I need cheering up and what's the best way to do it?

Well, I'm under 21, so... shopping.

(I actually do have an excellent fake - one of her boyfriend's was much more desperate to win my approval than I would have predicted, given his number of tattoos. But I'd rather be able to tattoo and pierce myself than drink with my mother, so I've kept that one a secret.)

The store actually glitters. Mom throws a tank top at me that's covered in sequins.

"No."

"Come on, Jade! Don't you want to make it sparkle!"

"You could not have thought of a worse way to phrase that."

Because really. When I have lost out on the lead role in a play to Tori fucking Vega - she of the boyfriend kissing and flirtatiously hairflipping and generally being in my life when I don't want her there - the last thing I want to do is go buy shirts that are going to make me shine, or sparkle, or any adjective remotely related to her.

"I know you're upset about this play thing-"

"It's not just a play thing."

"Did Beck get a role?"

"Yes."

The male lead, actually. Which means he is going to be flirting and kissing and proclaiming Vega's beauty for the next month. In front of me, no less, because although apparently I am not talented enough for the lead, I am talented enough to be a very involved ensemble member.

It was bad enough having to watch them audition together - audition partners are paired randomly, but I wouldn't put past them to rig it for Vega given that she's already the pet of most of the teachers. And of course she got the lead because she wasn't acting at all during that audition. Nothing about this play is acting for her - she's actually a confused damsel in distress type who is far far farrrr too affectionate with my boyfriend and would probably feel ever so guilty about turning down Robbie Shapiro if he ever asked her out and would string him along, pining for Beck all the while. The girl does not need practice playing herself.

Mom perks up because this is something she understands, "So, you're jealous?"

"No," I spit. If I ruin some of these clothes, I'm really only doing humanity a favor.

"You know, this vinegar thing you've got going isn't really attractive."

I turn slowly and glare at her, Mom backs down a bit, "I know Beck finds it attractive, but not a lot of guys do. And you should think about that." She hurriedly turns back to the rack and pulls out something that is black, I'll give her that, but glitter actually falls off it as she shows it to me, "How about this?"

"No. And why would I want to be with someone who doesn't like me for me?"

It actually bothers me more that she's apparently picturing a future where I'll need a Beck-replacement, but I'm not letting her know that's actually the terrifying consequence of this _Uptown, Downtown_ affair.

"Because not a lot of people will Jade, it's okay to change yourself a bit, if it'll make you happier."

I could change myself from being someone who just threatens murder to someone who goes through with it. I contemplate actually cutting Beck and Tori into tiny little pieces with my industrial scissors. Although, I have a feeling I would not get nearly as much sexual satisfaction from tiny pieces of Beck than I do from the whole thing, so resisting that impulse is probably a good thing.

"Whatever," I mutter, turning away, "I'm going to the Piercing Pavilion."

"No, you're not. You can't punch yourself full of holes whenever you feel bad about something."

I storm out anyway, but I don't really want to deal with anyone and unfortunately, they don't let you pierce yourself. I settle for an iced coffee instead and curl up on a bench in a deserted corner of the mall.

It really should have been mine.


	6. Keep It Together

_I've missed these two - just a little first date drabble, possibly to be continued if the muses strike. _

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><p>7:30am, Monday morning, some idiot stomps on her foot.<p>

She spins around, entirely prepared to throw her precious coffee in his face because really? It's not enough that she's been up for three hours because her parents thought 4am was an entirely appropriate time to scream at each other. She can't even caffeinate properly with this obnoxiously small mug (the guidance counselor saw her massive one last week, accused of having some sort of dangerous caffeine addiction and took it away). And now her foot is throbbing.

Her first thought is that the guy is really attractive. The second is that she doesn't care because her foot really fucking hurts.

He looks up and smiles at her (Smiles? She's giving him a death glare here.), "Jade, right?"

She notes that he is holding a really large cup of what appears to be coffee. She might be able to get something out of this. Keeping her face as cold as possible, she raises an eyebrow.

"I'm Beck," he's still smiling for some ridiculous reason, "...I'm in your acting class."

She raises her eyebrow higher, pressing her lips together and keeping silent.

"I'm actually really glad I ran into you, I've been meaning to ask you, do you want to go out sometime?"

She contorts her face even further because really? Really?

Then again, he did stomp on her foot. The least she can do is get a free dinner out of it. (And not that she's going to admit it, but the really attractive part doesn't hurt at all.)

"Fine," she finally speaks, "Friday, 7:00, I hate chocolate." She grabs the coffee out of his hand and stalks off.

* * *

><p>Somehow he gets her phone number. He texts her after school Friday saying he's all excited to see her and he picked a great restaurant and blah blah blah. The message concludes with, of all things, a smiley face. She's just about to give him some blatantly false excuse to get out of the whole thing when her dad gets home and the yelling starts up again and she decides that getting the fuck out of there is the best idea even if she has to put up with someone who thinks smiley faces are an adequate method of communication.<p>

She pulls on a dress and does her makeup (she likes to look nice, it's not like she _likes _him or anything) and stomps down the stairs, "I'm leaving," she screams in the general direction of her parents' yelling, "Bye."

She can't wait to get her license, but luckily town is close and she can walk. He's already outside the restaurant, smiling away, of course. She responds with a glare, but he smiles wider at the sight of her and bounds over.

"Hi, you look nice!"

She considers for a split second returning the complement (some space in her head is insisting that it's completely true), but she's here from the free dinner and decides to just raise her eyebrows instead. He smiles again (she's starting to wonder if he ever stops) and leads her inside.

The only other guy who ever asked her out took her to a cheap pizza place with a vinyl table cloth she had successfully ripped a huge hunk out of by the end of the night. This place is dim and soft and there's a small tea light blinking between them.

He talks to her - mundane stuff, school, people they both know, hobbies. Acting comes up, what they have in common after all. He clearly loves it, in spite of herself, she finds herself responding, first with sarcastic comments (that make him laugh) and then genuinely.

She's not sure what it is - possibly the really attractive thing, but he seems like he actually is interested in her as more than just a spectator, and she likes listening to what he has to say. It's completely ridiculous, but she can feel her expression softening and it is so tempting to smile when he rambles about this role he really wants because she knows that feeling and it's mind-blowing that there's someone out there who _gets it_.

He pays the bill in the midst of telling her a lengthy story about his uncle's dog and she glances at her watch to see that they've been there four hours. There's no way that's right, she looks up, "What time is it?"

He glances at his phone, "11:02...oops, I told my mom to pick me up at 10. She probably thinks I'm dead." He stands up and grabs her hand, leading her out. He waves to a car and pulls her aside, "Your mom coming?"

"No, I'm walking home," he smells really good, her head is spinning a little bit.

"Where do you live?"

"King Street, I'm walking."

"Come on, we can drive you."

She shouldn't say yes, but he's making her dizzy and she sort of doesn't want to leave, "Okay."

His mom does the smiling thing too, although hers looks a whole lot more strained. They drop her off and he squeezes her hand and the next thing she knows, she's smiling too.


	7. If It Breaks

Beck Oliver is the last person she expects to find on her doorstep after the Platinum Music Awards.

The best course of action is clearly to pretend this is some sort of hallucination brought on by the euphoria of the night - Tori kept pulling her into paparazzi pictures, insisting this wouldn't be happening if not for her so she should get to share in some of the glory. Andre had to be repeatedly dragged away from Bruno Mars, who had even laughed at some of her very sarcastic apologies. Cat and Robbie had both disappeared, leading to raised eyebrows of speculation with Tori and Andre and jokes about how Oliver would react. The only low point of the evening had been Tori pulling her into a corner and hurriedly whispering something she already knew. In spite of that, she hadn't even noticed Beck had left.

She's actually managed to unlock the door and get one foot inside before Beck realizes she is entirely intending to just leave him out there.

"Jade!"

She turns around slowly, eyebrow raised, hoping the ridiculous pink skirt she's still wearing isn't detracting from whatever emotion she's deciding to put forth.

"I found this in the RV," he holds out a bag with some Hindi script written across it, "My grandmother got it for you when she was in India and gave it to me when I was in Canada. She didn't know..." he trails off.

"You were in Canada?" she says, completely in spite of herself. It really is weird - she always knew when Beck was in Canada. She dreaded it and tended to just move into the RV so she could be close to him somehow. And now he's gone and come back and she had absolutely no idea.

"Yeah, you know." He holds out the bag and she walks over to his car and takes it, "It's a filter and davarah, you know, for the Indian filter coffee you were obsessed with? There's some coffee and chicory in there too."

"Why?"

"I just found it and thought I should give it to you," he has one hand in his back pocket and pushes his hair back with the other before leaning on the car, small smile on his face. It's a scene she's been a part of a million times before and now she's supposed to kiss him until her dad comes out and yells at them and he'll smile again and kiss her one last time before driving off...

"That was really great, what you did for Tori. I never thought you would do anything like that."

Ah, but right, things are different now.

"Right," she says, slowly, carefully, sarcastically, the irony of the situation enraging her. "I'm really glad I have your approval back, it's something I've been striving for."

He looks surprised, and that makes her angrier because he shouldn't be. She slams the coffee set into his chest. "I know what happened with you and Tori, you asshole," she hisses before turning on the heel and stomping inside.

She makes it to the door before he calls out again - "Jade!" - and she turns around because seriously? He can't just suck up the shards of his dignity and leave her alone? "What?" she yells.

"It was a mistaken," he says hurriedly, like he thinks she's about to spin back around and slam the door behind her.

As much as she wants to do just that, she pauses, malice still alive and well in her tone, "What?"

"It really was. You were right, I've always felt... something for her. But it's nothing like what I felt for you. Feel for you."

She just raises an eyebrow. This night has really just been far too much.

"Anyways, I'm sorry. But, you've really changed Jade. The girl I dated would have never done that for Tori and it was really great. And you should have this," he tosses the bag at her and she somehow catches it, still in shocked silence.

He walks back to his car, "I just wanted you to know that, I'll see you around." As he pulls out of the driveway, he sticks his head out of the window, "I'm also making another film - there's a role in it for you if you want it." And he smiles his typical smile like there's is nothing wrong here and drives away like it's just a normal night from six months ago.

The first thing that hits her is anger at the fact that she has again let Beck Oliver leave her stranded and distraught in a doorway. The second thought is that at least she has some really fucking awesome coffee to help her deal with the situation.

She mixes some and curls up in her favorite chair in her room, ridiculous pink skirt still billowing around her legs. The worst part of all of it is that after last night, she was finally supposed to be over him for good. And now she has no idea what she feels anymore.

* * *

><p><em>This has been floating about in my head ever since I tried Indian filter coffee a few months ago. Nothing like a bit of late night insomnia for it to finally coalesce itself into a drabble. <em>

_This is the beginnings of my attempt to deal with the inevitable Bade reconciliation - I have way too many complicated feelings about them and not nearly enough outlets to deal with such feelings. If you would like to become one of those outlets and have far too intense conversations about these two, my message box is very much open. _


End file.
